by Maria Lloyd
Months ago, I had the pleasure of speaking with one of my mentors, banking corporate executive Anthony Goins. He has always been my go-to person for matters regarding the complexities of Corporate America. He’s humble, selfless, and exceptionally smart. He’s also the product of an amazing mentor.
Goins started out as a young father and Sergeant (in the United States Marine Corp) working as a security officer at a multinational financial services corporation. His life took a major change when an executive leader at the company challenged him to take on a role in sales. After successfully fulfilling the challenge, the executive leader- turned-mentor encouraged Goins to get a college degree and apply for a higher paying position. Goins took on the second challenge and graduated with a Business Management degree at North Carolina A&T and accepted a higher paying role within the company. Today, Goins works for a multinational banking corporation of securities, investments, and retail as a Senior Vice President and the Support Executive leading the Customer and Employee Experience for Auto Finance and Student Loans. In this role, he is responsible for implementing strategies that create exceptional customer interactions, with a focus on an engaged, trained work force, reducing complaints, and complying with tough regulation practices.
As the demand for more work with fewer employees becomes stiffer, corporate employees, especially those seeking to climb the ladder, are spending on average 10-14 hours per day at the workplace. The pressure to keep a job has cost many husbands and wives their marriage. In fact, one marriage and family specialist found that 46 percent of her female patients and 62 percent of her male patients were engaged in an extramarital affair with a co-worker. During our conversation, I asked Goins about the characteristics a corporate leader’s spouse should possess to maintain the relationship. Excerpts from the conversation are below:
What characteristics should the spouse of a corporate leader possess to keep the relationship strong:
That’s a really good questions. I think first and foremost, if a person marries someone that is in the corporate world, I think (s)he really has to spend time making sure that the spouse understands what that entails. And I don’t think you can really do that verbally. You know I don’t condone living together without being married but I think somehow you’ve got to let them experience what that would really feel like and then they have to make a decision as to whether that’s the life they really want to lead or not. Because I think the spouse has to be extremely self-sufficient, and they need to have a job themselves. It’s not about the money that they make, but they need to be very occupied and they need to be able to feel as though they’re contributing to the relationship versus feeling as though they’re not contributing — and they’re not busy.
I can honestly say with my second marriage, I didn’t spend enough time making sure she that she really understood what her life was going to be like married to a person who has the level of responsibility that I had when we got married.
What characteristics should the corporate executive possess to maintain a strong relationship:
I think the person in my position has to be able to turn it off, and when I say turn it off I mean when you come you have to try to humanize yourself so that you’re able to show some level of emotion and positive compassion once with your spouse. It’s very hard to decompress but you have to try to decompress and put yourself in a position so that you decide to communicate with your spouse and make that person feel warm and welcome and loved. So, that person has to have that ability to do that; otherwise, you seem disconnected and that causes problems within itself.
Find out what he had to say about corporations’ responsibility to their employees’ balance of life, work, and family by clicking the link below.
Maria Lloyd (@WritingsByMaria) is the Business Manager for the Your Black World Network and Dr. Boyce Watkins. She is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University and an advocate of dismantling the prison industrial complex, increasing entrepreneurship, reforming education, and eradicating poverty.