By Aleasa M. Word
As a divorced woman, it may seem odd, my writing about marriage. I’ve heard people say the best person to listen to sometimes about marriage is the one who knows all the mistakes you shouldn’t make because they’ve made them. I’ve also heard people say they’d never listen to a divorced person because they couldn’t get it right themselves. Realistically , with so many divorced people, the question becomes is there anyone you can really TRUST to listen to as it relates to how to make a marriage work? Or instead as I believe, learning some things from the outside are ok but finding your own rhythm inside of your relationship makes it better.
Statistics would have you believing marriage is impossible in the black community. Though the numbers may appear dismal in some areas, I can say I personally know quite a few people who have thriving marriages. I also know plenty of non-blacks that are divorced and going through custody battles and financials settlement that would make your hair curl.
Face it folks, marriage is hard. Committed relationships are hard. Relationships are the mirror though which we see our true reflections and those of our mates. That mirror shows the truth that is sometimes ugly. It also reflects the lies we tell ourselves that we want the world to believe and get angry about when our mates discover them. Spending long, intense amounts of time with one person will either cause the best actor slip up eventually or force us to believe in the truth the other person has tried to convince of us all along.